It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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