i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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