we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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