They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
