i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
