butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
