I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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