But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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