Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
