One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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