R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
