oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Barsexuality is the new black.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dignity is for republicans.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
