I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
