I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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