i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
