Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
