If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
organizing the empties. That sober.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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