my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
