is your mom at the bar?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
