Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I could fuck to npr.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
