Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
