Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
