No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
