I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
