just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
