I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize