I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
