It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
