You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
