Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
