This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
