I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
