If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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