STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
