my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
