I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
