If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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