Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
