i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
