Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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