the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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