Can i not drive my cunt home
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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