The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
