only if we run a train.
done.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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