Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
