What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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