I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
