Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
