I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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