There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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