Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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