I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
