I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
