bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
