Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Terrible idea I love it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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