She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
