i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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