Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
