never play flip cup with pint glasses
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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