I got chris browned last night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
