He asked to "fluff my boner.."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
