Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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